Is something bothering you and you cannot express how you feel to that person? Maybe this person is no longer in your life and you still dream about quarreling with each other. What gives?
Dreams about arguing usually tends to revolve around past unresolved issues or repressed emotions that you are unable to express in your waking life. We only argue in our dreams when there is lack of communication on both ends of the spectrum, usually when these feelings are not being reciprocated. The average person feels a little afraid of confronting deep, intense emotions, especially the ones that lead us down the path of unpleasant or unwanted feelings.
We tend to ignore or push aside these until it rears its ugly head in our dreams. Effective communication is a connection between two people that allows for a healthy exchange of thoughts, feelings, and ideas, that leads to mutual understanding. Whenever this exchange becomes blocked or prevented from free flowing, our emotions become repressed and these feelings become trapped in our unconscious mind.
Article: Understanding Your Emotions In Dreams
Unfortunately arguing in our dreams emerges when we want our voice heard but cannot seem to get through with the person we are arguing with. In our dream we tend to argue with our best friends, parents, partners, siblings, and even your ex.
Arguing In Dreams Meaning
Sometimes when we have trouble expressing our own emotions the confusion tends to be projected on the ones we are arguing with in our dreams. These past experiences and trapped feelings are still living in the present moment and it’s your duty to fix this outstanding problem.
The good news is once you figure out what your dream is hinting at you would naturally become better at understanding your own emotions, even the ones that make you angry. Furthermore you can actually help improve emotional well-being over time and the relationships you have in your life in the future.
The Buddha tells us about holding in these hostile and angry feelings is equivalent to “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.””. The main goal in your dream would be to figure out the origin of why you might be expressing these hidden feelings.
- Could you be avoiding expressing how you feel to this person?
- What kind of unresolved issues do you have in this relationship?
- What were you arguing about in your dream?
- Do you feel inferior or need to get your point across?
- Does this person take you seriously or your demands are not met?
What Does It Mean To Argue With Someone In Your Dream?
If you are unable to recognize the person it might be relating to a specific issue or inner struggle in your life. One of the root causes of why you are arguing with someone in your dream relates to not confronting the situation. Avoidance is a learned behaviour to escape difficult thoughts or feelings to avoid hassle or conflict. However in our walking life we tend to do the opposite by procrastinating, passive-aggressiveness, or even ruminating as a coping mechanisms. Our dreams encourage us to find out were this is stemming from – locations, what you are arguing about, and what happens after are clues to help you decode the dream.
Arguing With Parents In Your Dreams
As they say good parents doesn’t necessary mean good parenting. Do your parents still treat you like a child even as an adult? Are you able to make decisions on your own? Maybe your parents have long passed away yet you are still arguing with them in your dreams. What does this mean?
Depending the age of the dreamer arguing with your parents ranges from adolescence teens trying to gain independence, or for adults, relating to past trauma that needs resolving. In fact the majority of women confessed that they feel like they revert to their teenage selves when they have a dispute with their parents.
Dreams of fighting with your parents represents unresolved past conflicts that has emotionally blocked you in some way. The dream encourages you to unlock these unconscous emotions by reflecting on your relationship in the past and pull up these uncomfortable emotions. In some cases we argue with our parents when we are trying to heal our own inner child.
Article: How To Heal Your Inner Child
Arguing With Your Ex In Our Dreams
You would be surprised to know that many people dream of hugging and accepting their ex in their dreams years after they break up. But this has nothing to do with their ex, but rather an acceptance with themselves or they have emotionally moved on.
Arguing with your ex in your dream differs than arguing with your parents or friends since we emotionally invest with this person. People who argue with their ex in their dreams still harbor anger, repressed emotions, unconscous hurt, and confusion from the past. These raw feelings and emotions get projected on you ex in hopes you find and release this anger from within. Sometimes we may even argue with our ex when these feelings are being mimicked in your new relationship.
Dream Of Arguing With Your Cousin
Dreaming of arguing with your cousin usually represents your opinions or feelings about that person. What is your relationship like with them? Did sometime happen recently that make you upset or frustrated with them? Maybe you had a disagreement or relates to unconscious feelings that you are unable to express to them.
Dream Of Arguing With Friends or Boyfriend
In most cases we argue with our friends when we are unable to express our feelings to them in our lives. You might fear being judged or perhaps left out of the group so you remain silent. Dreams about arguing with your friends encourages you to become more confidant with yourself and express how you feel.
To dream of arguing with your boyfriend symbolizes your inability to express and understand your emotions in your relationship. If you are more of the aggregable type or submissive in your relationship these dreams pull out the fighter in you.
Arguing With A Dead Mother or Father
Dreaming of arguing with your Dead Mother or Dead Father in your dream represents unresolved past issues that you are unable to let go. Behind the fight is pain and hurt that you were not able to express to them when they were alive. The dream encourages you to write down or speak to your parents (usually right before bed) and tell them about the wrongs they did to you. Once these repressed memories or emotions are lifted they will appear again but in other various forms – hugging, receiving gifts, enjoying food and smiling.
How To Identify And Stop Arguing
Despite the raw emotions that bubble up when arguing there are some benefits to it. It is perfectly normal to fight or have a verbal discourse, but when it happens daily it shows that there is a lack of understanding and empathy in your relationship.
- Choose an appropriate time to sit down and discuss.
- Try to start the discussion amicably and with reason.
- Use ‘I’ statements, not ‘you‘ statements.
- Create boundaries when you argue
- Try to look at their perspective before yours.
- Try and find the core reason and not the topical annoyance.
- Pay attention to your emotions.
- Be prepared to compromise.
- Take some time apart
I don’t think it was very helpful, I keep having dreams that I am arguing with my ex best friend. I know we are never going to meet talk or see eye to eye, she told me she didn’t give a fuck about me and tried to ruin my marriage when I was trying to fix hers I just want this to stop with having to confront her… it’s not worth it
I dream about my late mother occasionally. Usually I’m trying to find her (that’s probably easy to figure out). Or we’re talking and reminiscing until I realize she’s actually gone and I wake up quite sad. But last night I had a dream we were arguing and I was screaming at her. While I’m still trying to figure it out, reading here that this is a very common dream I feel much better. Thank you for creating this!
That was very helpful and insightful. I just have one issue. I cannot speak with this person. She is “ghosting” me. That doesn’t affect me at all. I am just looking for guidance and clarity in dealing with how, what and why this person hurt for me for no reason at all. But I’m beginning to understand now. Thank you.